So we have all experienced being broke, for me living in the UK, if you weren’t brought up in a well-off family with the right mindset and positive emotional connection to money, you’re relationship with money would be skewed.

The socio-economic factors of being brought up in a family allowed me to have certain associations and experiences with money, but living in debt never really allowed me to learn and understand the real meaning of its potential power. What kind of relationship did I have? How was I meant to see, feel and relate to money? I was meant to have money, but for what purpose?

So we tend to learn a lot about our experiences in life from our nearest and dearest. They did the best they could with the resources around them at the time, to try and teach you what you needed to know. So the way I look at it now, the way we think and feel about money is unconsciously learnt. What is it we are consistently saying when we talk about money? How do we see money and what consistent action do we employ? I used to find that I heard the same broken record. Similar conversation used to go like this “I never have enough money, I’ll guess I’ll just extend my overdraft”, “I need a small bit of cash, MUMMMMM.”

Raise your hand if you this sounds familiar to you?

There are two old philosophical approaches to thinking about money. We are Epicurean and Stoic. Here is a question for you, which one are you drawn to? The epicurean lifestyle is living ‘in the moment’, to fulfil the need for happiness through consumerism to create that emotional balance in yourself. Giving money away at your expense in the moment, then dealing with what you will feel like later? Or are you more of the stoics’ lifestyle of enduring the hardship of saving for future you? Do you capitalise on opportunities of procuring of money for security, which creates certainty, comfort and happiness? How do you feel about both? What will they do for you?

So subtly we learned these traits along the way. With this thought in mind, how do feel about receive money from someone or earning it on our own terms? We ask for more money because we never feel we have enough. We say things like “we just have enough to pay the bills.” What would you do with more money? I think it interesting how money allows us to buy space and becomes an extension of our worth. Does this mean more money; more acclaim, more honour, a better sense of self-worth?

You’ve heard these stories over and over again. The rich person who has loads of money is still unhappy and a man with little money is perfectly happy. In current common sociological rules, this makes no sense. The reason why this works is because we have found a good use for the money and we are not attributing the amount of money to who we are, but what money really is a means for. “Money is a great servant but a terrible master”. If we let money dictate how we feel, we are approaching it from a negative mindset. Do you have control and understand what you are using your money for? I never did, so I never had any. It would come in and it would fulfil my momentary needs, never thinking to invest it. I found within my work I was never very emotionally invested, so I would not get work, therefore, money would not arrive. I was not aware then that investing time and energy was an exchange for money. Also did not recognise that if I could give more value then I would receive the adequate return. Money is just energy and we need to see it in our minds and on paper to procure it and work out what energy is going to go into what process.

To use the example of a medical doctor they gave time and energy to learn and study their craft, which is complex and in depth. They did this for hours on end; henceforth they are rewarded with same energy back. Adversely you can amass money through doing loads of hours have no time left to enjoy it. Does this make sense unless you find significance and value in it?

If you took money away from everyone in the world, the rich and the poor, put it in one pot and they were told they could have a piece of it if they gave energy and value to a cause with an idea of the worth of it. People with the right emotional attachment and drive will be the ones who know what value it takes to have a larger piece of the pie.

Lastly, plan to have it and you will find a way of getting it. If we were forced by governments to cough up another 20% of our earnings we would find a way. This is how you must think about saving and earning. If you just focus on what you need, that’s what you will get. If you focus on the dreams you have with a plan and process you will amass the money you will need through time, energy and value.

So the advice I can give today is 3 things,

Decide what real reason we want it, understanding our fear to ask for it and the willingness to have it at what cost.